Brokology...

I was thinking about my life the other day, and I had an(other) epiphany. I'm atoning for something. The only question now is what it is I'm atoning for. I haven't been that bad of a guy. I've never beaten a woman, never robbed, raped, or pillaged, never (purposefully) hurt someone I cared about, never done anything wholly unethical on the job, never taken any illegal drugs nor any legal ones for fun. I drive pretty responsibly, I help others when they need it, I make people laugh sometimes with my witticisms, my cheerful manner seems to be appreciated at my jobs....
So what is it? Well, I guess I haven't been the best boyfriend/husband when I've been with someone. I do tend to emotionally withdraw if things get rocky, and I know for sure that I broke the heart of the best woman I've ever met (so far). I did a fair amount of whoring myself out, and I'm sure some of those women were expecting that their bodies would win my heart. I have misled people to get stuff sold, especially when I was in the car business. But nothing materially misleaing, no lemons sold as dreamcars, no 16 percent mortgages that the buyer didn't want, no barbecue grills that I knew would explode.
Now I realize that its the sum total of these experiences that has done me in. Its the overall level of shadiness. And my perverse pride in being such an operator. Look at my username everywhere, the 'Shaistyone', and my half-joking insistence on calling myself evil and shady whenever I get a chance.

So now the question is how to atone and how long will be necessary for my subconscious to feel punished enough to let me go. That's the tricky one.

Jason }:(

P.S. I've heard that money can't buy happiness...but I think I'll withhold my judgment until I've tried it out...

Scriptodemonology #3...

3. Enviros

Description:
An insidious corrupter, Enviros uses the things all around us to block our efforts. A demon of distractions, it uses the people around us, the noises, the pangs of our bellies, the other interesting clickables on our computer screens, jobs, bills, bank accounts, Yankees/Red Sox matchups, the diabolically inspired summer movie schedule, and a billion other tools including its most powerful, the television. Remember this villain as your eyes glaze at the pixel parade, or your ears fill with inane conversations, or whatever distractions keep you from the page.

Powers:
Devastating effects. Can draw distractions and mini-crises from the air to curse you with. Intuitive knowledge of when its curses will be most effective. Hides itself as circumstance.

Vulnerabilities:
Not many. Feng Shui? Power outages? Cabin in the woods?

Instructions for killing:
Apply 30 cc. of deadlines and brutal task lists (suppression only).

Jason

P.S. Didn't you just know that Reality TV had a Demoniacal agenda? }:)

Blogshaustion...

Its been a long time betwixt posts, due mainly to the 70-hour work weeks I've been clocking, but also because my computer suffered a total, irreversible, catastrophic, class IV meltdown. So...it took me a couple days to fix it. }:)

What have I been thinking about? Well, a lot of things. The futility of the current political system. The nature of ennui and atonement. The impending chest-puffing ass-shaking spring hormone festival. Destiny's plan: permanent or dry-erase marker? The Writer's Sorrow. Responsibility's effect on self-perception. Inner talents and the ability to learn new ones. My strong desire to find a local baseball team I could play for over the summer. My body's weird trials and tribulations as I approach the 30-year threshold. My debt level, and how freaking scary it is. The stunningly thick summer movie schedule....

Damn, I better get cracking on this stuff. Or I could just go play some Playstation...

Jason

P.S. If there had been no food on Gilligan's Island, who do you think they would have eaten first? My vote is for Mary-Ann. Yummmmmy!!! }:)