Triflip..

I've decided to start using this again. Probably no one looking, but I find it really doesn't matter. What is important is to write, and write often. Using language, even for banal details of my life is something that can only help.
The past several months have flown by in a haze of desperate labor and solitude. The labor, while purposeful, is now revealed to be a distraction. Keeping busy allows me to stay relatively sane, to keep myself from moving away, even to just keep my brain active. The solitude is a function of misery, primarily self-inflicted, that helps keep the stain of it from infecting those around me.
So what's the endgame? How can I push out of the morass into the light? Work is either - a. as mind-numbing as a narcotic without any of the addictive paraphenlia, or - b. a flavorful mix of dashed hopes and fruitless dreams. School is now seen as a means, not as an end, which I guess is fine. But it takes the shine off of it when the focus shifts to being able to reach milestones more easily, rather than acquiring knowledge.
So what do we do? How can we fix the emptiness?

I guess that's what I'm here to find out.


P.S. Is it a bad sign when you lose 50/50 poker situations at a rate of 75%?