Predictisms...
I wasn't going to comment on the 'Great Nipple Controversy', but I just felt the need to. The conservatives are outraged that someone would dare expose a nipple on national television where impressionable young kiddies could see it. The liberals are outraged that the conservatives are making such a big deal about what is simply a natural part of the human body. Well, except for the obvious plastic surgery. I didn't understand the fuss until I downloaded a blown up still image of the moment. Then I realized what it was all about.
All this time I thought our laws were set up to prevent young, fragile eyes from seeing nipples (which obviously must be the only part of the breast which matters, as no one has any problem showing every other square inch). Our founding fathers must have foreseen the potential for exposed nipple, and realized that such a nipple might even be (gasp) an unattractive nipple. Now it all makes sense! An ugly nipple could definitely be psychologically damaging. I felt a little warpage in my own head when I looked, repeatedly, at the image. It was like a car accident in its compelling nature.
So, in conclusion, I think the outrage is perfectly justified, but needs to be clarified. Maybe the law could be changed to only apply to unappealing nipples. We'll call it the 'Revised Nipple Exposure Amendment', only allowing exposure of nipples with a Hertz/Nippleman rating of over 7.5. I'm sure it would pass very quickly. Of course, then we'll need to form a 'Nipple Attractiveness Review Committee' to check and rate the nipples. Although it might be a huge sacrifice of time and effort, I'd like to volunteer now. I'm just the type of patriotic American who would be willing to take on this awesome responsibility. }:)
Jason
P.S. Exactly how many additional record sales were generated by that little stunt? Mistake, my ass! I'd like to shake the hand of the marketing guy/girl who thought that one up!
All this time I thought our laws were set up to prevent young, fragile eyes from seeing nipples (which obviously must be the only part of the breast which matters, as no one has any problem showing every other square inch). Our founding fathers must have foreseen the potential for exposed nipple, and realized that such a nipple might even be (gasp) an unattractive nipple. Now it all makes sense! An ugly nipple could definitely be psychologically damaging. I felt a little warpage in my own head when I looked, repeatedly, at the image. It was like a car accident in its compelling nature.
So, in conclusion, I think the outrage is perfectly justified, but needs to be clarified. Maybe the law could be changed to only apply to unappealing nipples. We'll call it the 'Revised Nipple Exposure Amendment', only allowing exposure of nipples with a Hertz/Nippleman rating of over 7.5. I'm sure it would pass very quickly. Of course, then we'll need to form a 'Nipple Attractiveness Review Committee' to check and rate the nipples. Although it might be a huge sacrifice of time and effort, I'd like to volunteer now. I'm just the type of patriotic American who would be willing to take on this awesome responsibility. }:)
Jason
P.S. Exactly how many additional record sales were generated by that little stunt? Mistake, my ass! I'd like to shake the hand of the marketing guy/girl who thought that one up!
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